My Blog

I created a humongous monster that I cannot even slay.

I have no plans on slaying it though. It makes me real and
logical.

The journey between emotions is very near yet so freaking
hard.

How about personality?

How would I handle the situation if I acted differently?

Or is this my defense mech that I had been making all my
life.

Its not about ME that concerns this blog.

It’s like I’m relating myself to another creature that
boggles my mind right of this moment. I am now putting myself in its shoes or
tentacles.

This is how it goes.

I have not have chance saying
sorry to myself for what I have said that night. Its like, I never thought the
issue of blank means a lot to me. It sucks I know. But I have this tendency to over analyze and always think of myself as a victim. I’m slowly losing friends. Or
maybe I have never thought of them as my friends. How sad.

Well, I’m bad.

I am paranoiac.

I always think of other
people saying bad about me. I cannot blame them. There is always vengeance. (But
this people who I thought betrayed me considered me as a friend, how could I turn
my back from them because of my stupid pride?). It’s not stupid. I know. I’m
always right. I’ve never been wrong. I’ve read so many books and I know a lot
of things. No fickle minded can topple me and even tell me what to think or
do. I don’t listen to criticisms, I am perfect.

Blah blah blah. And the
endless chatters, nagging, simply fade away. Or did my saliva run out. Hopefully.
So that I could give peace of mind to those people. Yeah right, since when did I
care for other people?